Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Conscious Discipline: Internal State Versus Behavior



Who remembers reading about the famous marshmallow experiment from the 1960s? It basically put kids in a room with one marshmallow and the adult told them that if they didn't eat the marshmallow while he is absent, then the child(ren) will receive two marshmallows later to eat.  The study then followed up on these children as they grew into adults and found that the participants who waited for that second marshmallow (delayed gratification) had more success in life.
read more here

Delayed gratification is governed by the power to self-regulate.  Self-regulation puts a pause between the stimulus and the response.  My kids really want to watch their favorite YouTuber, but they have homework to do.  If they can delay that instant gratification of watching YouTube and finish their homework, they will learn more and get better grades.  If I delay the gratification of buying chips and candy at the store,  I will choose healthier food options at home.

"Self-regulation is a top predictor of life success-even more than early academics." - Jane M. Healy, PhD

The problem with self-regulation is that it requires us  to access our inner speech in order to regulate our emotions.  Inner speech must regulate the inner state. However, the average age for children to develop that inner speech is six.  Ever wonder why first graders are not quiet during "silent reading"?

How do young children self-regulate if they do not have mature inner speech?  Well, they don't without our help.  The adult is the co-regulator for children, with the job of guiding them in managing their inner states.  We can first do this by managing our own inner states, especially during times of frustration caused by said children displaying upset behavior.  That upset behavior is just the outward manifestation of the upset inner state.  Upset behavior is always a form of communication. Upset behavior changes from crying (infant) to hurtful actions (young child) to arguing (older child).

Before inner speech matures, young children think in picture form.  If you teach young children or have young children, post pictures or read picture books of your expectations, as it helps them encode information more easily.

In my next blog post, I will try to make sense of becoming "brain smart" so I (and you) can guide your students in developing stronger self-regulation skills.

Happy Teaching!

Erin Grebel


No comments:

Post a Comment

Most Viewed Posts